About three weeks ago, I was frustrated and so upset with myself. Things weren't going as planned, I didn't feel like I was really doing as well as I could in my classes because I was just being lazy. I really, really was not representing God well and being a faithful servant to Him. I kept getting more and more upset about it and it was really tugging on my heart to change some things. My flesh really didn't want to deep down, but I knew that the Father was telling me that I have so much potential and that He believed in me. So, that's what got me going.
I decided to do my homework the day I get it and always be on top of things. I planned on going to bed early, waking up on time (and having time to eat breakfast), spend intentional time with the Lord everyday, etc. And for the past three weeks it's gone great! It has been exactly that (more or less - we all have our slip-ups). I have never felt more motivated and more ready to plow through things than now. He is so good. Friends, I have been praying for motivation for a good year now and I finally feel like I know what that means. Although it takes practice, I am learning to kneed my heart into leaving behind my old ways and becoming more responsible and a more diligent child of God. And just because you're motivated one day does not mean you will feel that way the next. But it does mean that the more you rely on God to fill your cup everyday and make you whole just to glorify Him, you will succeed. God will bless you in ways you cannot imagine.
I am excited about this. I'm excited to see what's going to happen and how the Lord will grow me closer to Him.
In other news.....
THERE'S ONLY 16 MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT FOR ME. My Freshman Year of college is slowly coming to an end. Definitely bittersweet. I cannot believe it. Gosh, just looking back and seeing how the whole time the Father help me in His hands and took care of me. I cannot get over how crazy of a year it's been, truly. From being a shaking-in-her-boots, I-don't-wanna-grow-up, will-do-anything-to-stay-in-high-school senior at Dixie this time last year, I can't explain how much my heart has been changed. I was scared to death of college. I mean it. Scared. To. Death. I loved Dixie and I loved my friends and I loved Young Life there. More importantly, though, I did not want to leave my mom. I didn't want to be away from here. I wanted to spend every precious moment possible with her as I could. But I knew God had put it on my heart to have a desire to go to UK. To get comfortable being uncomfortable. To be alone sometimes, but to find myself. That's what I needed and His plan was definitely better than I expected. I've found community, I've found sweet friends, I've found so many great things on campus and I am able to see the work of the Lord in all of them. I cherish my family so much more because of what we went through this year and that I don't see them as much, so I appreciate them that much more. I feel like my heart is being softened to love others more. I am different, but better person because of this Freshman Year of college. And I am thankful for that.
And on to bigger and better things....
There are so many little things that I am so excited for that are coming up pretty soon. Lemme just tell ya:
- Chicago: I'm going to Chicago this weekend for a leader training called Gynoskow. I am seriously so excited. I've never been to Chicago before and we're gonna take pictures with the bean! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TAKE PICTURES WITH THE BEAN! Also, I get to spend my time there with some pretty cool cats that I've wanted to get to know! :)
- Needtobreathe: My whole leader team is heading to Louisville next Thursday for the Needtobreathe concert! I cannot explain to you how excited I am to spend that night loving Jesus with them. Just another opportunity to bond and get to know each other better!
- Taylor Swift: YESSIR I AM GOING TO THE TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT. Wow. I am too excited. In two weekends, I will be seeing my favorite artist since 7th or 8th grade perform live. Ya'll this has been my dream for a while now! And I'm going with my sweet, sweet friend, Katelyn, who I've known since 2nd grade. She goes to Xavier now and we hardly ever see each other, so I am excited to catch up with her!! :)
- Last Day of School: May 3rd is creeping in on me! It is the last day of my freshman year. My last exam for the year is that day! I am so joyful. Wow, it's gone by so quick. I still remember moving in like it was yesterday. SUMMER IS NEAR :)
- Leader Weekend: This isn't for a little while, but man, oh man, am I pumped!! Going to camp with close friends that are leaders in Lexington, Northern Kentucky, AND Louisville?!! It's seriously going to be the greatest weekend ever! 42 DAYS!
"Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir." - Galatians 4:6-7.
I am kneading my heart for the Bread of Life.
