Songs have the ability to make you cry, jump for joy, smile, praise, and just feel awesome. It's amazing. For me, I really enjoy all genres of music. One that reaches down in my soul and makes me feel the most alive, though, is worship music. There's just something about crying out the Father and that you are in total presence of the Lord. Joy. Utter joy. There's just a connection to our Father that you feel like is closer to Him than just praying. There's just something about worship music, man.
One of my all-time favorite worship songs is Forever Reign by Hillsong. I've just always loved it for some reason. Now, it has much more of a significance to me. It holds a very special place in my heart.
When I found out that the doctor's couldn't do anything else for my mom, I was in class. I vividly remember this. I went to the bathroom, came back, looked at my phone, then went back in the hallway because I received a call from my dad and a text from my brother saying, "Family meeting tonight back at home at 6". I immediately called my dad asking him what was going on. At this point, my mom had been at UK hospital for about a week and a half. My dad explained to me on the phone that there was nothing else that the doctor's could do for my mom and that the family had to make the choice of whether or not to keep her on oxygen for more time while she just stays in the hospital struggling and we just wait for her to pass or if we should take her off of everything and let her pass peacefully while everyone was there. My dad told me all of this over the phone. I started bawling. There was nothing I could do. I had no control over the situation. I went to the bathroom and wiped my eyes and headed back into my class. We were watching a video, but that definitely was not where my focus was. I knew I wasn't going to be able to watch the video or even do anything in class without crying. So I wrote. I wrote all my feelings and fears and prayers to the Lord. This helped more than I could ever imagine.
After class, I went back to my dorm where Grace was. I explained to her everything that was going on and bawled my eyes out, of course (I hate crying in front of people). Then, I went to the bathroom, was in the bathroom stall and just cried and prayed. Out of no where, absolutely no where, Forever Reign came to my head. It wasn't like I had just listened to it beforehand or anything. No, I hadn't heard it in weeks. How it came to my head, I have no idea. Wait, I know how, IT WAS ALL MY LOVING SAVIOR. Every single bit. And the part that came to my mind specifically was,
"Oh, I'm runnin' to Your arms, I'm runnin' to Your arms. The riches of You Love will always be enough. Nothing compares to Your embrace. Light of the World, forever reign."I just kept singing those lyrics over and over and over again in my head. There was nothing I could do in this situation. Nothing. But the everlasting love of my Heavenly Father reminded me through these lyrics that I needed to trust in Him. Nothing compares to His embrace. His love is enough and will protect you and walk with you through the hardest days of your life. His Spirit dwells inside of you and is unleashed to the extreme when the water's get too high to handle. He carries you on His wings. He protects. He comforts. He loves. He got me through the biggest thing in my life. And a part of that came with Him putting a song on my heart.
And guess what! That song was played at church and leadership the weekend after she had passed. Coincidence? I think not. Just the Lord reminding me each day that He is there for me. How great! And guess what else! I start crying every time I hear it. In church, at leadership, in my dorm, everywhere!! EVERYWHERE! I don't even care about crying in front of people anymore. It's is good for the soul to sing it and cry out to Him! He is good!
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